One of our biggest fears about sending our kids to school, “back in the day” was that our timid little one would become a target of the playground bully. If only that were the case now! With all the new technology kids can get their hands on comes a new type of harassment that can happen anytime, anywhere….cyber-bullying. A Media Awareness Network survey in 2005 showed that 34 % of Canadian students have been bullied and 27 % of that was online. As cyber-bullying is on the increase, we parents need to know how it happens and what action we can take to help protect our kids.
How it Happens
Cyber-bullying is a different kind of beast when it comes to harassment. It can be done anytime and anywhere. Home is no longer a refuge from the big, bad, bullies. Social networking sites provide easy access, sites like Myspace, Facebook, Twitter…anywhere that people gather to share things online. Cyber-bullying is done in different ways, mostly harassment, exclusion from online groups or conversations, and copying or distributing personal photos or videos with intent to cause harm. In some chat rooms, nicknamed “bash boards”, teens flock there to anonymously post anything they want to say, often creating mean-spirited postings whether they be true or false. Basically anything goes. According to this article, 60% of kids use Instant Messaging, which seems to be a popular choice for the bullies. It also gives some examples of how ruthless these bullies can be.
Cyber-bullying tends to be more cruel than a face-to-face encounter with a bully since the bullies don’t see the reaction of the victims. They feel removed from the action and the person at the receiving end and will say things they would never say face-to-face. Incidentally and not really that surprising is that girls between the ages of 12 and 15 are targeted the most by bullies who are of the same age and sex. Girls,girls,girls…can’t we play nice?
What Can We Do To Help?
They say knowledge is the best defense. Help your kids by knowing what all is involved in cyber-bullying. How it happens, where it happens, who is doing the bullying, why does it happen? Make sure you know what they are doing online. Who are their online friends they chat to? What sites do they visit? Also, make sure you know what your kids are telling people about themselves online. They should NEVER give out personal information like their name, address, school they attend, phone numbers, e-mail address etc…Using common sense when online can really help.
What if your child is a vicitm of cyber-bullying? Usually kids will tell their parents when cyber-bullying occurs but, if they don’t and you suspect something, take the initiative to talk to them. It is important you know so you can help them. Do not reply to any threatening messages, since a reaction is what the bully wants. Keep a record of all messages recieved so you have proof. Inform the local police, your Internet Service Provider and/or cell phone service provider. If the bullying is on-going, you may need to change your e-mail account and cell phone number.
Up until recently cyber-bullies have often been able to sneak under the radar and nothing much could be done. Things are changing though and people are becoming more aware of this growing problem. Knowing what is going on online and teaching your kids Internet smarts and safety can help to avoid problems with cyber-bullies. Check out this site for more information on cyber-bullying.
Have you had an experience in your family with cyber-bullying? Any tips you’d like to share with other parents? Feel free to leave us a comment.
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