Whatever happened to the days when your teenager would tie up the phone line for hours? Now, kids are always connected…online. There are many great things about connecting over the Internet but kids also need to be aware of the dangers of being so connected. In the United States, 93 percent of kids between the ages of 12 and 17 use the Internet. The Internet is a way that teens can express themselves during these rough years. Their identity or growing identity may be spilled out over a computer keyboard so we see why there is a need to talk to them about what goes on on the computer. This may be hard since the teenage years are tough and kids aren’t that inclined to talk to their parents…You know, having to do with building their own identities, distancing themselves from childhood, seeking deeper relationships with people besides family members…all that developmental psychology kind of stuff, which can sometimes create barriers. But, we need to talk.
Why TEENAGERS Need to be Careful Online
Again having to do with the “development of a teenager” stuff, they are seeking ways to express themselves and also looking for friends. The online world is a great place to do that. You can connect with all kinds of people that share similar backgrounds, goals, taste in music, movies, books, etc…There are online diaries (aka blogs) that are great for self-expression and finding friends too. So, teens are exploring these places. They need to be careful. Chat rooms can be a great hideout for predators and cyber stalkers. They lurk in these conversations pretending to be something other than the lowlives that they are in hopes of striking up conversations and maybe more with innocent unsuspecting TEENAGE (most often) victims. One statistic quoted that there may be up to 750 000 predators online on a daily basis trolling chat rooms and dating services. Yikes! And, one in five cases of cyber-stalking turns into a real-world stalking case, 80 percent of victims being women. Also, teens tend to be more trusting so they may divulge too much personal information. This can easily happen when signing up for an account on a social networking site (think Myspace, Facebook etc…). Even filling out their full name, date of birth, place of residence, posting a photo…all these can be used by predators or stalkers, even as information for a potential identity theft. All these things are very popular on the Internet and it is important for us all to know what exactly we are giving away about ourselves, especially teens. Which is why we need to talk to them about it but…how?
Talking to Your Teen About Online Safety
You need to keep the lines of communication open. Hopefully you have created an environment at home where your kids feel comfortable coming to you and expressing themselves. Talk openly with them about sexual issues online (pornography, nudity, suggestive photos). Discuss dignity and self-respect and how it can be maintained or destroyed by messages or pictures, even ones meant to be a joke. Make sure your teenager is aware that the Internet is like one big masquerade. It may be hard to recognize the good guys from the bad ones. People can easily disguise who or what they are. Also, see if they understand that anything they post online can be made permanent and also public. One good thing to do with them would be to ask them “what if’s” , creating different scenarios that could come up online and what they would do. Then discuss their reactions.
We don’t want to scare our kids (or ourselves) into paranoia about going online or anything like that. It’s just about being smart while online. Being careful and aware of what is going on out there and that it is a reality.
Do you have any tips on talking to your teens? Leave a comment and let us know!
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